Interview Me!

Media day at the Super Bowl was on Tuesday and it is a big three ring circus. The star players are put in front of podiums so the contingent of writers, entertainment reporters, kids and transvestites can get a sound bite or be lucky enough to ask a question. The lesser known players (ie. back up lineman, special teamers) spread themselves out in the middle of the field basking in the sun and waiting for the 2 hour period to be completed. These can sometimes be better stories, but you’ll never hear them since all the main stream media is concerned about is Kurt Warner’s wife and faith or Hines Ward’s health.

If there was a media day with all the athletes, managers and owners these are the top 5 who would have the biggest podiums and largest scrums…

#5 Dana White

The UFC President doesn’t pull any punches during interviews. He tells it exactly how it is, and he is not afraid to throw in the F bombs whether it is a press conference or national TV interview. Mr. White has had several public disputes with his fighters where he lets them know that it is his way or the highway. They will try and fight back, but when you have as much clout as Dana, you can pretty much do as you please. A refreshing change from button up commissioners like Bud Selig and Gary Bettman, who only give the “political” answer to questions lobbed at them by the media, Dana White will have no difficulty giving you an answer to each and every one of your questions, just make sure you are ready for it.

#4 Sean Avery

The self proclaimed “bad boy of hockey” is never at a loss for words. From his most recent run in with the press where he gathered reporters together to tell them about other NHLers and “sloppy seconds”, and then walked away telling the press to “enjoy the game” was a stroke of genius –even if it put him out of the league. A couple of his other notable rants include belittling the leagues marketing campaigns, making fun of the French players including, calling Martin Brodeur “fatso” and admitting to playing with dolls on an ESPN magazine show. This character comes in at number 4.

#3 Chad Johnson

Mr. Ocho Cinco is a showman and could easily take top billing on the Barnum & Bailey billboards. From guaranteeing wins and berating defenders, he is as boastful as they come. Most memorably Ocho had a list of all the defensive backs he would be facing posted in his locker. After each game the media would gather as he crossed another one of his list and then start his tangent on the next victim. Besides his locker room antics, his on field celebrations have gone down in history as some of the greatest ever.

#2 Charles Barkley

During his playing days or since joining the media, Charles Barkley has never censored himself. He will make comments on the state of the league, other players, fans – it is no holds barred with Chuck. One of the most (in)famous quotes from Charles is the “I’m not a role model”, where he told parents that he is simply an athlete and not someone your children to look up to. More recently Charles has become a sideshow during the All-Star weekend by racing 67 year old NBA referee Dick Bavetta and whenever he steps on the golf course and unleashes that swing that doubles as a corkscrew.

“I don't think of myself as giving interviews. I just have conversations. That gets me in trouble.” And that is why Charles comes in at #2

#1 Shaquille O’Neal

O’Neal has given himself so many nicknames not even he can keep track anymore. When he speaks, the media listens because it will no doubt be something funny, charming or off the cuff and it will make headlines. Whether he is cursing on live TV, making fun of one of Craig Sager’s awful jackets, talking about his relationship with Kobe or speaking about himself, it will be something that fans want to hear. Although you would think Shaq is a well rounded, educated and worldly man, one of my personal favorite quotes that he ever gave was when he was asked if he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece - “I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.” Classic!

This quote shows why he keeps them coming back for more - “But can’t nobody (mess) with me. I’m like toilet paper, Pampers and toothpaste. I’m definitely proven to be effective.” Shaq certainly is effective with his verbal diarrhea and that is why he is #1!

Others receiving votes: Allen Iverson, Bob Knight, Mike Ditka, Herm Edwards, Brian Burke, Joey Porter, Joe Namath, Mark Cuban, Floyd Merriweather, Lou Pinella, Ozzie Guillen