All I Want For Christmas

With Christmas just around the corner, everyone is flooding to malls to sit on Santa's lap making their wishes for the gifts that they want to find under the tree.

The guys that haven't had time to get to the mall, are the athlete's. So to help Santa out, here is a list of some stuff that these guys are looking for.

NBA
Carl Landry - new front teeth

Jose Calderon - his starting job back from Jarret Jack when he returns from injury

Chris Bosh - a haircut and a contract south of the border

Demar DeRozan - a spot in the slam dunk contest

LeBron James - some teammates that can help him win

NHL
Jonas Gustavsson - a new heart (sorry too soon...)

NHL - a brain - how do you want to change the names of your awards?

MISC
Don Cherry - a new sport coat from the Craig Sager collection

Craig Sager - a new sport coat from the Don Cherry collection

Tiger Woods - a sponsorship contract with Ashley Madison

MLB
Toronto Blue Jays - an Ace pitcher. After trading away Doc they need someone to win games.

NY Yankees - some bail out money from the US Government. After acquiring Javier Vazquez they are over the $200 million payroll mark

Jason Bay - a contract offer. the new economy has left the Canuck looking for employment, why not Toronto?

NFL
Micheal Vick - a new dog...ohh maybe a bad idea

Brett Favre - a sledge hammer to the knee cap (yes, I am a Packers fan)

Buffalo Bills - a starting QB and a coach who is awake on the sidelines

Clay Matthews - defensive rookie of the year!


That is just a start...what do you think some athletes need to find under their tree this holiday season.

Holiday Gift Guide

It is officially the first holiday shopping weekend in December. Many parents, wives and girlfriends will be hitting the malls and big box shops to get presents for loved ones. We all know they aren't any males out shopping this early.

So to help all the female shoppers out there, here is a list of all the things that many males in my age bracket wanted over the years and never got. If anyone is reading this (hint: wife) you can get anything on this list for us and we will super happy when we unwrap our new toy.

10. Ninja Stars, Numchucks and a Ninja Sword
All you have to do is have a quick look at my movie review of Ninja Assassins to understand the male obsession with ninjas. There weapons are cool, you can hurt others and yourself!

9. GI Joe Battleship
The ultimate GI Joe toy. Along with the base this was a must have that most kids never got because parents didn't want to put it together.

8. Computer Watch
The digital watch took a big turn when they started adding fun features like a full keyboard that allowed to leave yourself messages and calculate 6x8 during math tests.

7. 8 Ball, Georgetown Hoyas or LA Raiders Jacket
A must have fashion statement. No matter what sports team you like, you can always wear a Georgetown or Raiders jacket. The 8-Ball is a classic, don't knock it.

6. Optimus Prime
The ultimate Transformers toy. This was the showpiece of a kid's collection. If you didn't have Prime you were relegated to playing second fiddle with Megatron or Bumblebee.

5. Nike Air Jordan's
Whether you are 8 or 38 you can still appreciate the Air Jordan. Every new season you would walk into the Foot Locker and see the new colours and styles. I could have received a new pair every year and been super happy. Also, Jordan's are one of the only acceptable article of clothing kids will be okay to receive.

4. Hulk Hogan figure and WWF Wrestling Ring
Some of the most fun toys to own because you were supposed to destroy them. You wanted to give them marks from the boots of other wrestlers. Having the ring topped everything else, because rubber bands and tape could only take you so far.

3. SEGA Game Gear
After Nintendo released the Game Boy in 1989 which changed the lives of children forever allowing them to take video games on the road, Game Gear was the next evolution. Color graphics, better controls, but no one got this because we all had Game Boy and didn't need another video game console - whatever!

2. Star Wars Millennium Falcon
Bigger than the GI Joe Battleship and Optimus Prime together, the Millenium Falcon was the TOY. Nothing else comes close to the power of being the kid on the block with the Millenium Falcon.

1. Willie Upshaw Blue Jays Jersey
One of the all-time favorite Jays, he was an integral part of the teams that helped the Jays make the playoffs for the first time. Just when they were turning the corner to being contenders for the next 7-8 years they traded the slugger to Cleveland. I cried in my corn flakes that morning, but would still love to sport a #26 jersey to the SkyDome next summer.