Weekend Movie Reviews

Although it isn't Thanksgiving here in Canada, even North of the border people are still excited about the big sales on "Black Friday" and it is a reason to consume some turkey, even if it is only in sandwich form. It is also typical that there are a couple of big movies that open to appease those that aren't sports fans.

So to help all those both North and South of the border, here are my weekend movie reviews. What to keep in mind when reading these reviews is that I have NOT seen any of these films. I am basing my reviews strictly on the trailers that I have seen and maybe an interview I saw on Ellen or Access Hollywood.

I'll give each film a rating in buckets of popcorn. The best a film can achieve is 5 buckets of popcorn (the amount I think I could eat during a film) and the worst is 1 bucket of popcorn, because let's be honest, you always finish your popcorn before the movie starts anyways.

Ninja Assassin
Starring: A bunch of people you never heard of
Review: If you are a male aged 13-18 you will love this film because Ninjas are the coolest thing ever. If you are a female aged 13-18 you will hate this movie because boys are stupid for trying to punch and kick each other. Now if you are a male aged 18-99 you will love this movie because Ninjas are the coolest thing ever. Basically that is really all you need to know about this movie. There is probably some really well choreographed fight scenes involving many people attacking the hero, but not at the same time. The hero also probably has to rescue some family member or avenge a family member and he has to do this by killing people - becoming the Ninja Assassin!
Rating: Since I am a guy - 4 buckets of popcorn



Old Dogs
Starring: John Travolta and Robin Williams
Review: Two old guys (Travolta and Williams) who are not parents and know nothing about parenting get roped into taking care of twins, and hilarity ensues. Unfortunately, we have seen movies like this numerous times before and there are no new tricks for these old dogs. Slapstick humour, falling over things and the lowest of the low - stupid animal tricks are all prominent in this movie that is two hours longer than it needs to be. The saving grace here is the performance of Seth Green and we should see him headlining some of these comedies in the coming years.
Rating: Old Dogs should be put to sleep - 1 bucket of popcorn



The Blind Side
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Micheal Oher
Review: In this "Disney-fied" version of the book of the same name written by Michael Lewis, we follow the trials and tribulations of Michael Oher. Oher was a kid on the streets when he was picked up by a nice family and given a home. Just so happens in this home they were football wild and Michael Oher is a mountain of a man and is really good at the game. Michael is turned into an upstanding, educated man and a gifted athlete by the family, or as we learn by Sandra Bullock. The football aspect of what was told in the book doesn't really come across in the movie, but it is an inspirational story none the less.
Rating: The Tuohy family doesn't get sacked in this film - 3 buckets of popcorn