I Never Thougth It Would Happen To Me

On my daily surfing of the interwebs, there are always links to auto-complete Google searches that are funny and innappropriate in the same breath.

Well someone at ticketmaster has a good sense of humour today. While searching for Mariah Carey tickets (don't ask), my security question to complete was the following...



You read that correctly - "blond-haired trash" - I had to giggle and by then the tickets were sold out.

Escaping the National Pastime

My nightmare that lasts from the first day of fall until the first day of summer has started - Hockey!

As one of the few sports fans in Canada that does not enjoy the national pastime of the Great White North, it is a difficult existence. All year round I deal with the threat of hockey highlights, from free agents signing in the middle of August to the lead story every night on the sports shows from October to April.

Here are my five survival tips for avoiding all things hockey...

1. Skip the first 15 minutes of SportsCentre and the last 5 minutes. That gives you a good full 5 minutes in the second half of the show to find out all the news you need to know about the NFL, NCAA, the NBA and soccer.

2. Do not listen to sports radio in any major Canadian market. Most of these talk show hosts will try to get fans of the home town team fired up by making ridiculous claims. If you do need a sports fix, try ESPN radio online or available through XM. Much more variety and because hockey isn't all that popular in the States, they almost NEVER talk hockey.

3. Avoid the cover of the Toronto Sun. The tabloid rag that is well known because of its sunshine girls (a lesser version of the page 3 girls in the UK), will no doubt have a Maple Leaf/Hockey related cover 5 out of 7 days of the week.

4. Find a good bar on Saturday night. Not just any bar though, you have to make sure this is a classy place without tv's (because any tv, in any bar will show the hockey game). Plus, being at the bar let's you interact with the opposite sex who aren't that interested in sports.

5. Immerse yourself in the sport that should control your winter - the NBA. The NBA is going through a great time. There are marquee players all over the league. Guys that create awesome highlights, can single handily take over games and a rabid fan base. Not saying hockey doesn't have some of these great players and there are 6 cities that have good fans, but when 75% of your goals are scored by deflected shots and on power plays something is wrong. Learn to enjoy the NBA, it is as fast-paced, just like hockey, played in the same arena's and the players are all over twitter! I love this game!

Music Monday

Over the past couple of weeks their have been several huge releases from the hip hop community - Kid Cudi, Jay-Z and Raekwon top the list. So if you haven't picked up those albums yet (or downloaded them), get to it.

This week's music monday track is from 50 Cent. Pushed to the back by other hot NYC artist the King wants to reclaim his throne. With an album set to drop in the next quarter look for more singles to be hitting the top 40 charts, this is set to be the first

50 Cent ft. Ester Dean - Hard Rock

An upbeat song with some definite dance influences, it will get crowds moving.

Take Me Out To The Ballgame - Next Year...

Every Tuesday I wait for Gregg Easterbrook to release his Tuesday Morning Quarterback during the NFL season. One of his weekly features is the "Christmas Creep" portion of the column where readers write in to tell him that in the middle of July the local hardware store or Hallmark has set up their Santa Claus displays.

Well apparently Major League Baseball has written in to Easterbrook to try and get in next week's column. Major League Baseball decided to release the 2010 schedule while the 2009 season is still in progress.

No other professional league does this - football releases their schedule in April, basketball and hockey release it in July, so why did baseball have to jump the line? The reason is that baseball is getting pushed to page 6 by the NFL, college football and in Canada the start of hockey season. One way to get attention in this jam packed sports month is to let fans know that you have excitement coming even if nothing, like the playoff races, are exciting at the moment.

Of course the headline was that ESPN's best friends the Yankees and Red Sox will open and close the season against each other. The home town Toronto Blue Jays, whose schedule only matters until about mid-July until they fall apart - open the season on the road vs. Texas and Baltimore and then return to SkyDome for their home opener vs. the Chicago White Sox. Interleague play starts in June with the Jays going to Colorado and San Diego, then play St. Louis, San Francisco and Philadelphia at home. August, just in time for the late season swoon looks like it could be the worst month ever - 6 games vs. the Yankees, 6 vs. the Red Sox, and 5 vs. Tampa Bay and then series vs. Detroit, Oakland and Detroit - OUCH! If they survive August, they finish the season with a homestand vs. Seattle and New York and then the final four are in Minnesota.

Still an eternity away from the first pitch of the 2010 season, but as fans of baseball and the Jays we can always look forward to the first pitch.

2010 schedule

Fantasy vs. Reality

Sunday was the first game of the new NFL season. Everyone was excited to welcome in the new year. Fans prepared with elaborate tailgate rituals at stadiums or populated bars with buddies and couches were full of fat asses, beer, pop and potato chip crumbs.

What were fans really that excited about though? Was it the NFL or was it Fantasy Football?

Fantasy Football has taken over as the most watched sport on Sunday's. Everyone watches for certain players rather than teams. If your home team wins it is a bonus on a Sunday afternoon compared to if your fantasy team wins.

People are now involved in multiple leagues with different groups of friends or work colleagues, so many in fact that you can watch any game and have a vested interest. Even the Denver vs. Cincinnati game on the weekend, you could watch because Brandon Marshall was a late round steal, but you started him anyway since he wasn't suspended. You watched all game hoping Kyle Orton would target him and Tony Scheffler wouldn't steal a red zone touchdown.

I should have been happy with the Donovan McNabb injury (not in a mean way, just as a fan of a rival NFC team), but I couldn't take pleasure in it, since I have him as my QB on one of my teams (that team sucks). What should take precedence here?

Football and other sports were always worried gambling on the games was bad for the sport, but could fantasy football be worse? With nobody cheering for teams, people deciding to watch the games from their couch so they can follow all of their fantasy players and as the rapper Wale recently said "you ain't nothing until you spend $10 000 on fantasy football" could the games actually get corrupted?

Lots of questions and not alot of answers...do you think Fantasy Football is ruining the NFL or is the best thing that ever happened to it?

Snack of the Day

For Week 1 of the NFL season, everyone is optimistic about their team, even Detroit Lions fans - well maybe not.

Unfortunately, some fan bases can't get excited about the new season because their fav franchise hasn't done enough in the offseason to improve or they made some strange moves right before the season like firing their offensive coordinators (Bills, Chiefs and Bucs, looking at you).

For those fans, this is the perfect snack of the day...

Sour Patch Kids

Super Bowl XLIV

Everyone has been waiting with baited breath to see which teams the Sandwich Shoppe predicts for the Super Bowl in Miami this February. After lots of debate, reviewing the game tapes and picking names out of a hat, this is the playoff and Super Bowl predictions;

Playoff and Super Bowl Predictions

AFC
Patriots
Chargers
Colts
Steelers

Wild Card:
Ravens
Titans

AFC Divisional Championship
Chargers vs. Colts


NFC
Eagles
Packers
Seahawks
Falcons

Wild Card:
Saints
Vikings

NFC Divisional Championship
Packers vs. Falcons


Super Bowl
Falcons vs. Chargers

Champions
San Diego Chargers


It's not going out on limb much by picking a 9-1 team to win the Super Bowl, but this team has so much talent. The issue this year will be them keeping focused on winning football games rather than twittering (Merriman and Cromartie), staying out of trouble with the law (Merriman) and away from injuries (Merriman and Tomlinson).

As always, looking forward to an entertaining year is expected from the NFL.

NFL Preview - Part II

Here is the other side of most superficial NFL preview.

NFC East
Philadelphia Eagles – Who did they sign in the off season, I didn’t hear? The Eagles were very close to appearing in the Super Bowl last year and improved themselves on both sides of the ball. They did lose a couple of key clubhouse members, one being Brian Dawkins. Also, they lost outstanding LB Stewart Bradley in the first practice of the year with a torn ACL. They will be strong contenders.

Dallas Cowboys – Who did they lose in the off season, I didn’t hear? Tony Romo has a great backfield in Marion Barber and Felix Jones, we just aren’t sure who he will be throwing the ball to besides Jason Witten. The defense is strong and the special teams will be a show all season while at home because of the giant scoreboard in the middle of the field.

New York Giants – Recently the Giants released Super Bowl hero David Tyree, another more significant loss was running back Derrick Ward to Tampa. That leaves Brandon Jacobs as “thunder” without the “lightning”. The Giants will have a chip on their shoulder this season, but in the back of their minds will always be questioning how good they could have been with Plaxico Burress.

Washington Redskins – Jason Campbell was supposed to be the next one in Washington, but the Redskins decided to spend all summer trying to acquire another quarterback. It will be interesting to see how he bounces back with all the drama surrounding him. Clinton Portis and Santana Moss lead the offense and Albert Haynesworth will take his big contract and try and clog the middle of the defense. It will be a long season for the ‘Skins.

NFC North
Green Bay Packers – You all know that I am a Packers fan, so you shouldn’t be surprised I pick them to win the division. With tons of weapons on offense, Rodgers, Ryan Grant, Donald Lee, Donald Driver and Greg Jennings, the Pack won’t have trouble putting up points. Last year’s problem of stopping people from getting points will hopefully be solved by going to the 3-4 defense. This might take some sting out of Aaron Kampman, but LB Nick Barnett will be a force on the field and off with his twitter ramblings.

Minnesota Vikings – The QB that shall not be named will lead a formidable offense. Adrian Peterson is one of the most dominant running backs in the game. He still has games where he disappears and has a tendency to fumble. The defense is going to be tough, led by Jared Allen. These guys will be good, but just like the past two seasons, expect the QB to be the downfall late in the season.

Chicago Bears – The Jay Cutler era begins in Chicago. The first pro-bowl caliber QB to start in almost 20 years in the windy city. The Bears have the same problem as many other middle of the road clubs, no real threat at wide receiver and a tough schedule. Matt Forte hopes there is no sophomore slump in his future, because he we will once again the most touches out of anyone on the roster. The defense will again be led Brian Urlacher and must avoid injuries to have a shot at the playoffs.

NFC South
Atlanta Falcons – The surprise team from last year, won’t sneak up on anyone this year and they have even made themselves better. They acquired TE Tony Gonzalez as another target for QB Matt Ryan. Also at his finger tips will be RB Michael Turner and WR Roddy White.

New Orleans Saints – Can Drew Brees replicate his near record breaking season? I doubt it, but he has the tools to try and make it happen. Reggie Bush, Pierre Thomas, Marques Colston and Devery Henderson all can make an impact. The Saints will be in lots of high scoring games this season and if the defense can hold up their end up of the bargain, the Saints could be very dangerous.

Carolina Panthers – Will Jake Delhomme be able to recover from throwing four interceptions in the playoffs last season. Panthers fan hopes he has a short memory or it leads him to handing the ball off to DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart all season. Either way, it looks like the Panthers have missed their window to make a run at the Super Bowl.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – This is a team in transition. No starting quarterback that is going to put the fear into any defense. There is nothing good to say hear other than, welcome back Carnell “Cadillac” Williams. When he plays in week 1 vs. Dallas, he will become the first player to return from surgery on both his patella tendons. Impressive!

NFC West
Seattle Seahawks – The Seahawks consistently were winning this division, because everyone else in the division sucked so bad. Finally, someone stood up to them and combine that with having a huge amount of injuries, the Seahawks fell hard. They should return to form this year with a healthy Matt Hasselback, TJ Whosyourmomma, Deion Branch. Their only suspect position is at running back. A strong defensive line and linebacker core will hold opponents at bay.

Arizona Cardinals – It has been a trend for the Super Bowl runner-up not to make the playoffs the following season. It will continue this year. The Cards are one injury to Kurt Warner to being in lots of trouble, no matter if they have the most talented wide receiver core in the league. Tim Hightower and Beanie Wells will combine to form a young and potentially dominant backfield. It will need to be seen if they can get enough touches though. The Cards changed defensive coordinators after losing the Super Bowl, but don’t know if that will be enough.

San Francisco 49ers – It has been a while since the bay area saw a winning team and it will be another season. The Niners have decided that Shaun Hill is their man this year. He should have the support of top pick Michael Crabtree, but after some bad advice and thinking he should have gone higher in the draft he is holding out and it looks like his rookie season is lost. Frank Gore is still a hard-nosed runner who can take over a game, if the Niners get up on a team. Patrick Willis is one of the best linebackers in the game. He covers the entire field and will keep opposing quarterback’s on their toes.

St. Louis Rams – They suck.

The World’s Most Superficial NFL Preview

The following is the most superficial preview of the 2009 NFL season that kicks off Thursday night with the defending champion Pittsburgh Steelers versus the team with the best regular season record last year, the Tennessee Titans. It should be an interesting season full of twists, turns and surprises. Will the Detroit Lions win a game? Will Tony Romo date another blonde singer? Will Brett Favre retire and unretire again – that won’t be a surprise, he will….

Without further ado, preview and predictions…

AFC East
New England Patriots – Tom Brady returns. That is the story line for the franchise this season. Bill Belichek proved he could win without his star quarterback, but it will be much easier with Brady behind center. The defense is special and led by Jared Mayo who will be one of the best linebackers in football in the next couple of seasons.

Buffalo Bills – Terrell Owens make his presence known. The Bills made a splash in the offseason with by signing the malcontent wide receiver. Will he make the offence better? It hasn’t worked so far in the preseason as the Bills fired after the last pre-season game. They have a favorable schedule and if they can run the K-Gun properly their playoff drought will end.

Miami Dolphins – After a huge turnaround last season the Dolphins, they will try to repeat the fate. The schedule gets more difficult and Chad Pennington’s arm is likely to fall off at any given time. Also, now that the wildcat is out of the bag, defense coordinators around the league will be ready.

New York Jets – Dirty Sanchez. The rookie QB will try to turn around the fortunes of the Jets, but it will be difficult when both running backs are unhappy with their contracts, no star receiver to throw to and a mediocre defense. On a positive note they get to move into a beautiful new stadium next year.

AFC West
San Diego Chargers – The cream of the division. They could easily go 6-0 in the division. They feature one of the best offenses. LT, Phillip Rivers, Gates and Vincent Jackson. A fast, hard hitting defense who are ball hawks will make the offenses job that much easier.

Kansas City Chiefs – A new regime in KC. They brought in players this offseason that know how to win. A new starting QB in Matt Cassell is in the spotlight and he will work well with outstanding WR Dwayne Bowe. Larry Johnson was once an elite running back. He has been hurt the last couple of seasons, but with some pressure off of the running game, he has a chance to return to form. If last year’s first round pick Glenn Dorsey can be a force on the inside, this team will have a chance at .500.

Denver Broncos – Another new regime, however this transition has not been smooth. Rookie head coach Josh McDaniel immediately lost the confidence in his QB Jay Cutler and had to trade him to Chicago. Now he has pissed off star receiver Brandon Marshall. To win in the NFL you need all-pro’s, McDaniel has lost two already.

Oakland Raiders – What to say about this mess. JaMarcus Russell needs to be better and he will get his chance. After bringing in Jeff Garcia to be the back up, he was unexpectedly released at the end of the pre-season. Russell has weapons at his disposal. Running back Darren McFadden is explosive and is a game changer. They also drafted wide receiver Darius Hayward-Bay who has 4XL size hands. Russell should be able to throw it anywhere and this guy should catch it. Russell will get more help in the 2010 draft when the Raiders draft near the top…

AFC South
Indianapolis Colts – Peyton Manning does not like to lose. He works too hard for the Colts not to come back and be on top of this division. Manning still has Reggie Wayne and Anthony Gonzalez will be a much bigger part of this offense. Rookie running back from UCONN Donald Brown will partner with Joseph Addai to form a great backfield.

Tennesse Titans – Vince Young wants to win a Super Bowl and be the MVP. He might have a chance to get the ring, but it will be as a back-up unless he Tonya Harding’s Kerry Collins. LenDale White comes to camp 40 lbs lighter because he didn’t drink Patron tequila in the offseason. The defense loses overrated nosetackle Albert Haynesworth. Anyone who is only on the field for only two downs a series can’t be that important.

Houston Texans – It is always a “breakout” year for the Texans. They seem to have the talent to push them over the top, but play in a tough division that won’t let them get over the hump. No one is questioning that decision to choose Mario Williams first overall anymore and he should make his first appearance in the pro bowl this season. Having a chance to join him in Miami this year will be running back Steve Slaton and wide receiver Andre Johnson should be there again.

Jacksonville Jaguars – This team is in transition. David Garrard needs to prove that he is a top quarterback otherwise they will have to re-tool. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have much to work with because Torry Holt comes in as the number one receiver. One player he can use and will be used all the time is Maurice Jones-Drew. A top fantasy player MJD will get lots of touches since all-time Jag is Fred Taylor is now with the Pats.

AFC North
Pittsburgh Steelers – The defending Super Bowl champions will be in the picture again this season. The defense is one of the best in the NFL and can pressure from all angles because of their depth at linebacker. Big Ben still has Hines Ward and Santonio Holmes to work with as well as Fast Willie Parker and the return of Rashard Mendenhall who returns after a season ending injury last year in the first couple weeks of the season. A tough opponent all season.
Baltimore Ravens – Sophomore Slump? Joe Flacco hopes not. He will work hard to keep up the success he had last season and his weapons return. The dependable Derrick Mason and the exciting Ray Rice. The defense will always be the story in B-More though with Ray Lewis and his intimidating presence.

Cincinnati Bengals – Carson Palmer hopes somebody shows up to play on Sunday’s with him. After the HBO Hard Knocks series followed them around during training camp it seems they are a loose clubhouse (child, please), but will that translate into wins. First round pick Andre Smith held out, reported overweight and then broke his foot in his second practice. It will be a tough season for Cincy, but they do have the best named cheerleading squad in the NFL – the Ben-Gals.

Cleveland Browns – Oh Shit! Brady Quinn will start at QB, but Derek Anderson is waiting in the wings just in case. Braylon Edwards is still an elite wide receiver, he just needs a consistent presence at quarterback. The defense is led by linebacker D’Qwell Jackson. He is one of the best in the NFL and if the Browns aren’t careful he will end up on someone else’s roster before the Browns are at the top of the heap.

Got Beef?

It’s after Labour Day and that means a number of things are happening. Kids are going back to school, you can no longer wear white and the weather is starting to get cooler.

It also means I have been seeing the same thing all summer long that bothers me so much. Whether it is summer students riding the public transit, Bay St. lawyers walking around on their lunch hour or an IT consultant moving from job to job. The thing that bothers me so much…wearing your identity card/swipe card around on your hip.

Wearing your swipe card around is totally unnecessary. You are not impressing anyone with your metal clip with retractable cord. Unless you are working in the FBI building, your company is not that important that you need to swipe in and out of every door. If your company IS that important, you probably shouldn't’t be wearing the card on your hip anyway.

Put the card in your wallet if you are a man. If you are a women, put the card in an outside pocket of your purse. This will allow you easy access, and most cards are sensitive enough that you will not even have to remove the card from your pocket or purse.

In conclusion, you are not special. We know you are going to work, put your swipe cards away until you get to the front door of your office.

Music Monday

Finding new and interesting music is always fun. A couple of weeks ago I stumbled across an artist by the name of J.Cole. He had released a couple of mixtapes and I had the opportunity to download The Come Up mixtape last week. Then, upon downloading the new Jay-Z album - Blueprint 3 (yeah, I downloaded it, take that), I find J.Cole's name as a feature. Good for him and get to know the rest of his catalogue...

J.Cole - The Come Up